All posts filed under: Independence

Successful Careers for Women: Do We Sabotage Ourselves?

There have been many articles over the years and of late dealing with the issue of women wanting to “have it all” – a career and a family life.  So I was extremely excited to find Sheryl Sandberg, Chief Operating Officer at Facebook’s commencement speech to Barnard College graduates on May 8, 2011, which shed incredible new light on the issue. Sheryl is 42 years-young and happily married with two kids. In the meantime she’s been Chief of Staff of the U.S. Treasury, Vice President at Google, and now COO at Facebook, where she’s credited with turning the social network from “just another MySpace” into a $104 billion dollar company. (Regardless of your feelings about Facebook,) Sheryl has some extraordinarily insightful things to say to women about sticking with their careers and “having it all.” Many of us would be happy raising five wonderful kids and spending a lifetime devoted to home, family, and friends. But almost every person I know has a yearning not only to have a family but to give their unique …

Independence Day: Here’s to Your Freedom

Happy Independence Day. Here’s to freedom from fear, bad habits, unconscious self-sabotage, and hypocrisy! Freedom from ignorance, poor self esteem, and depression! Here are some quotes about independence, to help us celebrate: “Associate with noblest people you can find; read the best books; live with the mighty. But learn to be happy alone. Rely upon your own energies, and so not wait for, or depend on other people.” ― Thomas Davidson “She might be without country, without nation, but inside her there was still a being that could exist and be free, that could simply say I amwithout adding a this, or a that, without saying I am Indian, Guyanese, English, or anything else in the world.” ― Sharon Maas, Of Marriageable Age “Where we choose to be, where we choose to be–we have the power to determine that in our lives. We cannot reel time backward or forward, but we can take ourselves to the place that defines our being.” ― Sena Jeter Naslund, Ahab’s Wife, or The Star-Gazer “I love your independence, I love that you don’t swoon, I …

Please Judge Me by My Shoes

By Katina Hubbard It’s true: I judge people’s shoes. Fortunately I don’t do it to place them in a master shoe hierarchy or a dichotomy of good and bad shoes, oh no, I am not capable of this sort of cranial computation. Instead, I learned to look at people’s shoes due to an extreme hippy upbringing that fostered all sorts of open-minded, non-judgmental behavior in me such as taking a bus into the Congo when I was 19 and having “heart-to-hearts” with strangers on New York City subways. Somewhere along the line I started using shoes as an indicator of where people are going and who they might be. And now I notice shoes in a borderline idiot savant sort of way. I actually remember people by their shoes and will regularly describe strangers as “the one wearing the tan loafers with dark laces” which has proved particularly unhelpful to some of my dearest male colleagues and counterparts. But I love shoes for the stories they hint at, how specific to space and time they …

You Can Blame Me For Our Sexist Society, And Stop Calling Me Beautiful

by Katina Hubbard Ashley Judd had a bad face day. If that’s even possible… So the media did it’s usual thing and went nuts jabbing, jeering, and judging her, including alleged “obvious” plastic surgery and how her husband’s probably looking for a new wife because she’s become “fat.” The American media turned a slightly puffy face into a failed person and a failed marriage. So Ashley Judd did the uncanny, she told the media how it made her feel. With all due respect, considering how horrible media blow-ups can be, this one is a cakewalk compared to egregious treatment other celebrities (with actual plastic surgery and verified wandering spouses) deal with. But I do feel slightly bad for Lindsay Lohan and think Ashley is right in using this incident as an indicator that we’re all suffering, every day, from a toxic atmosphere of body consciousness.

Single or Paired-off: It’s Time to Get Engaged

By Joshunda Sanders ***** This Valentine’s Day, I’m thrilled to host my first guest writer, Joshunda Sanders. Her blog regularly takes my breath away, inspiring me to delve deeper into the love and pain in my writing. She has worked as a  journalist at the Houston Chronicle, the Seattle Post-Intelligencer and the San Francisco Chronicle, in addition to publishing articles at Bitch Magazine, VIBE Magazine, and many others. You can currently find her teaching in the Journalism Department at the University of Texas. I dare you not to lose/find yourself in this post. ***** In my twenties, I lived on the West Coast. Around the year I turned 25, I was living in California, land of the free, home of the hippies. The Bay Area Joan Didion made come alive for me was not the post-dot com environment that I slurped soup in. But what I loved about it was that I could just do whatever I wanted. I could work out with a group of other single people on steps overlooking Lake Merritt down the street …

Marriage: As Meaningful As You Make It?

by Katina Hubbard I’m basically obsessed with marriage, probably because of my parents’ divorce and my Disney-princess ideas about love. I was proposed to about 5 times before I turned 25. I was engaged once, and felt how heavy a lifetime felt. My ideas about marriage have evolved since then, even to the point where I’m okay if I don’t get married or have kids. My life is about me and my purpose, and if I can’t fit statistically prevalent life events into it, I can still have a fulfilling, prosperous, and meaningful life.

How Ice T and Obama Empower Women

Ice T is not the first person you recall when you think of feminist men. But on January 21, 2012, Ice T empowered me and every woman in the room with him. The Sundance Film Festival held a concert celebrating music and film (and Ice T’s directorial debut, Something from Nothing: The Art of Rap). Ice T, Chuck D, Grandmaster Caz et.al. talked candidly about the history of hip hop, told moving personal stories, and criticized the atrocity that mainstream rap has become. They performed with DJ Evil E on the ones and twos (stay with me here).  However, at one point, Ice T began to give a lesson on the definition of “O.G.”: Now, ‘O.G.’ means ‘original gangster.’ Gangster don’t mean you sell drugs. My definition of gangster is: YOU DONT BACK UP. Anonymous gangster, ‘Fuck what you said man, I’m living my life my motha fuckin’ way.’ (Pauses. Gestures to the audience) A lot of these girls in here are gangsters. You tell these chicks what they gotta do and they’ll say, ‘Hold …