All posts filed under: Dealing with Insecurity

NOT SO ‘MAGIC MIKE’: ARE WOMEN BECOMING THE MEN WE DESPISE?

by Katina Hubbard Last night, I accidentally saw ‘Magic Mike.’ I don’t know how I missed the trailer for this little film that has sent American women into some sort of sexual frenzy, but I thought I was seeing a romantic comedy where someone has amnesia. If you’re like me and you had no idea this movie existed, you probably do now, since it was front page of the New York Times’ Art Section and at the top of the box office charts this weekend. It’s the classic tale of the poor girl with nowhere to turn except to shake her naked ass for money. She enjoys it, and so does the audience, but in the end gets saved from a life of meaningless sex and drug overdoses by a normal Joe-turned Prince Charming. Except in ‘Magic Mike,’ the poor girl who needs saving isn’t a girl, it’s America’s male heartthrob, Channing Tatum.

75 Years After Amelia Earhart: Are You Battling Your Own Beauty?

by Katina Hubbard The recent discovery of Amelia Earhart’s freckle cream sheds light on her mysterious disappearance…and on American women’s legacy of hating our bodies! Freckle cream? Amelia Earhart, the first woman to complete a trans-Atlantic flight and attempt to fly around the world, was trying to get rid of her FRECKLES!?! So much so that she included the cream in her must-bring bag when she attempted to fly around the world? Not only do I think she is drop dead gorgeous, but she was one of the most empowered woman in history: a talented, brave, and bold explorer of human limits in a world where women were intended for bearing children and stirring pots. Who gives a f*$k about her freckles? She did. And we all do…

Turn Off Autopilot: Inequality Is Our Reality

by Katina Hubbard I’m committed to keeping this website about love and being loved. I believe making concerted efforts to heal and grow ourselves and our relationships is one of the most powerful things we can do to change the world. HOWEVER. When someone else does the ranting, especially an articulate, well-informed, and inspiring man, I give him mad props. Here are excerpts from Yahsar Ali’s recent article about the state of women in the western world. I hear the message loud and clear: If I stop noticing that I live in a world where men are more often in power, making the rules, and making more money, I’m perpetuating the problem. My awareness of gender inequality is a crucial step to changing the world for myself and my children.

Being Loved from the Inside Out

by Katina Hubbard We know what it feels like to be loved by our parents, friends, and/or significant others. But what does it feel like to be loved from the inside out? I grew up as a “pretty” girl. I was skinny, with a nice complexion, and had fortunate genetic makeup from 16 generations of white men fathering children with Native-American and African-American women. And I remember feeling beautiful. I danced in public without fear of judgment. I ran around the beach in a swimsuit without noticing my bare skin. I crouched by the creek to find frogs without wondering if I was normal. I felt beautiful because I had no definition of what beautiful was. I was just me. This is how we all start out, every one of us. We come out of the womb exactly perfect. All unique, but generally accepted as cute, adorable, and lovable. Then at some point, someone clues us into what “beautiful” is. Whether it’s at age 4 when someone points at our belly hanging over our tutu, …

How Ice T and Obama Empower Women

Ice T is not the first person you recall when you think of feminist men. But on January 21, 2012, Ice T empowered me and every woman in the room with him. The Sundance Film Festival held a concert celebrating music and film (and Ice T’s directorial debut, Something from Nothing: The Art of Rap). Ice T, Chuck D, Grandmaster Caz et.al. talked candidly about the history of hip hop, told moving personal stories, and criticized the atrocity that mainstream rap has become. They performed with DJ Evil E on the ones and twos (stay with me here).  However, at one point, Ice T began to give a lesson on the definition of “O.G.”: Now, ‘O.G.’ means ‘original gangster.’ Gangster don’t mean you sell drugs. My definition of gangster is: YOU DONT BACK UP. Anonymous gangster, ‘Fuck what you said man, I’m living my life my motha fuckin’ way.’ (Pauses. Gestures to the audience) A lot of these girls in here are gangsters. You tell these chicks what they gotta do and they’ll say, ‘Hold …

How To Make Everyone Happy…(Part I: HER)

If given the chance, I’ll give you a copy of “‘Calling in ‘the One’: 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life.” I’ve never been single and read this book. It’s not really about finding your dream partner (although apparently it works, http://callingintheone.com), it’s about working through everything you’ve been taught by your parents, friends, and the world that has prevented you from being truly loved. While reading it this morning, I found a quote about the difference between what men and women need from relationships: What women need, according to Katherine Woodward Thomas: A woman needs to be heard and tended to in a relationship. Ideally, she needs to be noticed, wanted, and adored. She needs to feel treasured by her man and she needs a partner who demonstrates that he cares about her feelings. She needs someone who will anticipate her wishes and take action to fulfill them, even before she thinks to ask. She needs her partner to keep his word to her. She needs him to be someone she can …